Do you ever feel like you will never actually reach that “age” you felt you would be when you “grew up”? I always thought in my 20’s I would feel like I finally grew up! But I’m sure if you were ever around me for longer than a day you would realize that I am not that grown up… I have a lot of growing up left to do! I feel like I am always still saying, “when I grow up, I want to…”
I think it’s time to realize that I should start getting serious about what some of those things are before I wake up one day and the opportunity to climb Machu Pichu has come and gone.
Well, the beauty of this life is that sometimes those “things” can be done, accomplished, checked off, etc…at anytime. In fact, some take a whole lifetime to achieve but are well worth the trials.
Lately, for me, I have been facing so many challenges that I have never had to face to this extreme. It literally has felt like God has been stretching me far and wide. At the end of some days, my body physically hurts. I feel like I can’t be stretched out anymore and then the next day, the emotional exercise begins again. I have felt underprepared, overwhelmed and needless to say, like a huge wimp. God doesn’t give us more than we can bare but these growing pains make me feel like I should be 7 ft tall, instead I still feel like a small child. It’s in these moments of complete and utter desperation, I know where my foundation needs to lie. In Him.
While this seems so simple, and you are probably shaking your head at me, it hasn’t always been easy to wrap my head around the fact that God has me completely taken care of. In the darkest of these days, like this one here, it is hard not for me to get angry or impatient. I start thinking, “God, if you truly want what’s best for me, why don’t you ask me, I know what I want!”. I think He full on just laughs. “Oh Emilie…”
I then begin to think about how faithful He has been to not just me, but the women that he created and loved so dearly. These are the women I want to be like when I grow up. Strong, courageous, faithful, loving, flawed, mistake makers, human, and so desperate for Him.
I will never be perfect. I will never handle ever situation with faith and acceptance but I know that if I can be like the women that leaned on Him in their times of need, I will be ok. Better than ok.
Each one of these women I resonate with. I know them, their hearts are my heart, especially Hannah’s. You can read more on that here, but I know that if these women overcame their circumstance and theirs were a lot worse than mine, I too can suck it up, trust and let Him do what’s best for me.