This post is hard to write.
Partly because I’m sharing some pretty uncomfortable things for me, and partly because I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I really feel led to share.
I am taking a sabbatical from my precious space here on Flourish and Hope.
When I set out to write and share about life, style, design and faith, one of my biggest objectives was encouraging others to flourish where they are and to hope above all things! Lately, my life, has been so chaotic, I feel like I am not flourishing and sometimes the hope that I have is to just get through the day without crashing into bed at night exhausted from the day.
I have felt guilty, anxious, sad and unbalanced about my time that I have not had with my blog. It became more about getting an amazing post together so that people would read it than about what truly mattered. I began to sacrifice my time with Andy, family, and friends to work on F&H. I pulled away from doing to my quite time with the Lord so that I could write a post that someone may or may not read. I have felt unauthentic, weak and uninspired. When my numbers of readers dropped, I became angry and even wondered if I should quit my day job to devote more time to F&H. My focus became skewed and I realized that I didn’t like who I was becoming and certainly didn’t want my blog to morph into something I didn’t believe in.
I love this blog. It is my creative space. My chance to share what I love and inspire others! But if I can’t stand behind the reasons why I do it, then I shouldn’t be writing.
So, this is where I have come to. I am taking 30 days off from F&H and instead of the time I would spend on writing, editing, designing and more for F&H, I am going to spend it with the Lord. To let Him direct my path, my focus and show me where it is He wants me to go.
I’m hoping he will bring me back to F&H, that this is where he eventually wants me to end up. But I know I have to trust him.
It’s really scary to abandon what you love to find out what it is you really need.
Now to add some humor to this post, I’m embarrassingly going to show you how we have been living. We currently live with Andy’s parents while we decided on where to live next…. hopefully this next step will be apart of some exciting blog news! We still have renters in the home we own, so we are debating whether to move back in, in October, buy a new house or build!
So until then, we have currently downsized again to Andy’s old high school bedroom and we are trying to not bust out of 100 square feet with all our stuff! Between working full time jobs, going to Crossfit 3 times a week, design work and spending time with our friends and family, we are still trying to find the balance in our lives. Now you will see the causalities of our circumstances.
But I refuse to only show the good in our lives. I do not want to foster false impressions. I am human, I struggle and in the midst of trying to obtain a stylish life, I fail in so many ways. May you embrace your failures to so that you can Him work in you!
Oh my gosh, this is so bad. It’s like the Monster at the End of this Book… please don’t turn the page…
Friends! I love you dearly. I hope to see you in 30 days. Love, love, love you.