Buckle Up Buttercup!
I feel like I could write a book on this but I am going to do my best to keep it to a short blog post. Forgive me if I get carried away, but sometimes I just start writing and I just can’t seem to stop. Now if I could only figure out where to start…
Let’s just start at the beginning… a very good place to start… (are you singing Sound of Music in your head now?)…
About 27 years ago, a young lady went into labor and was taken to the hospital in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. About the same time, or maybe a few days after, a couple received a very exciting phone call. One they had been waiting for, I am assuming for quite some time.
The phone call was to inform the couple that a baby girl was needing a home and that they should get ready within the week to take her.
What? Did you see that coming? I’m sure if we are good friends you probably all ready know this about me. But just in case you didn’t, I am adopted.
What that means is I have two sets of loving parents. One set that saw they couldn’t provide for me the way that they wanted to, and a set that choose to take me in as their own and raise me as their daughter.
Let me be clear about some things about this before I move on in my story. My adoptive parents are my true parents. They raised me, loved me, never made me feel like I didn’t belong, they are and will always be mom and dad. But, I do love my birth parents, they choose an amazing family for me, made the hardest decision I ever think a couple will have to make about a teen pregnancy, and above all gave me life. I could have been terminated, I could have been the reason my birth mom wasn’t able to go to college or be a real teenager, but I was kept alive and given hope. For that I am eternally grateful, as my parents are too, I am assuming (wink, wink).
For the most part, I have a happy story. My adoptive family is incredible. I do have two very loving parents, a great big brother and a whole bunch of other people in my life that celebrated my arrival and have watched me grow to the woman I am now. In fact, the ladies that threw my baby shower when I arrived also threw my bridal shower. How cool is that? I have been blessed beyond a doubt. God truly has a plan. A BIG one.
But I can not lie when I say I do think about my other set of parents quite a lot. Usually around my birthday, Mother’s day and Father’s Day. Which all have just taken place in the past two months so they have been on the brain a lot. I don’t know much about them but the things I do know are very special to me.
My birth mom was 18, a Senior in High School. Can you imagine being prenant your Senior Year of High School? That must have been terrifying. My dad was 26. I don’t know a lot about him but I do know he had blonde hair and supported my mom in decision to make an adoption plan, good enough for me! She played basketball, loved horses and worked in an ice cream shop. In the fall, she was planning on going to school for engineering. I can only imagine what an unplanned pregnancy did to her plans. She would be about 8 months pregnant at her Senior Prom and at Graduation. I don’t even know if she attended them, but what I do know is she made it through HS and in June of 1986, gave birth to me.
When I read the lines of the paperwork that I have on her, I feel like I am reading a bio on the back of a novel, short but to the point. Some medical facts here in there but I keep reading it hoping some more words would appear. Like how she felt during her pregnancy. Did she let me listen to music, did she talk to me, did she even have a name picked out just in case? In those pieces of paper that are becoming yellow with time, I feel like little bits of a person are trying to come through. I try to imagine what her face looks like or if we even look like each other. Then my thoughts morph into the past 27 years. I will quickly to a calculation of how old she is at the moment… let’s see 27 plus 18 is 45. She turned 45 in April. Is she married, does she have other children? O my goodness, do I have other brothers and maybe even a sister? Where does she live? But most of all. Is she happy?
I hope she is happy. I pray that she in turn has the best life because of the selfless decision she made to give me a better one than she could provide. I pray God blessed with multiple children, a loving husband, a great career (if that is what she wanted), supportive friends and life full of joy.
These are the things I think about before tucking my paperwork back into the fireproof safe we have and then lock it and go on with my day. But lately I have been feeling more of a pull towards her. So I did something that I have never done before. I wrote her a letter.
I had to mail it to my agency so they could forward it to her . It was a long shot because they forward it to her last known address. If she moves like we do, who knows where she is now. They said they would send it back if it was returned but I haven’t heard either way yet. It has been like the longest breath I have ever held…. I pray that it finds it’s way to her. I pray that she reads it with happiness and if she is ready, I pray that she will want to meet me too.
I said I wouldn’t write a book, but I feel like I am at a good stopping point for now. If you ever have any questions or would like to talk about adoption, please feel free to comment or even send me an email. I would love to chat. I love talking about my story and nothing is off limits! Let’s chat!