Girlfriends are Precious
I have been wanting to write this post for so long. My heart has so many feelings (a bit dramatic) but this year alone has shown me just how precious friendship is and how we as women need girlfriends. I’m not just talking a good gal pal here and there, I’m talking about soul friends, people who see you and know you. Who are willing to walk your journey with you and help you when you stumble, pick you up when you fall, and above all, love you through thick and thin.
I’m so sorry if this post is going to be long but again, I have a lot of feelings on the subject and I want to write a love letter to the women who have been in my life the past year and those who have stuck with me since they have known me. These are the lessons I have learn on how to be a good friend, and how to get good friends. Friends that are precious and if I don’t tell you enough lovely girls… I love you more than you will know!
1. Be Kind, Genuine, and Vulnerable: We live in a world of mean girls, social media perfection, and exclusiveness. I have found that when you are kind and genuine, hearts open and you can find connection. There comes a closeness from sharing your struggles, your insecurities, and your fears. I’m not talking about being a bleeding heart, and you need to be careful with your heart still, but when you find a safe person/place, open up! You never know what walls might come down when you begin to share. And always be kind. A smile, gentle word, or invitation might just change your life and someone else’s.
2. Accept Correction, Communicate, & Know when to Listen: This has been huge game changer in my relationships, not to mention my marriage. It’s ok to hear when you have messed up, it takes courage for someone to tell you that you have hurt their feelings or for someone to tell you that you may need to work on something. They love you enough to help you grow! It’s not supposed to hinder you but to help you. Add good communication in there and you will have amazing friendships! I say good because you need to remember tone of voice, wordage, and the setting. Be gentle and encouraging and listen when you need to, sometimes our friends need to just talk. Take it from me, you don’t want to sweep things under the rug and time does not heal all wounds; it does the opposite.
3. Forgive: This may seem like a silly one but, forgiveness is key to good friendships. I won’t lie here… sometimes friendships end. And that is ok too. We can outgrow them, realize they are toxic, and move on but forgiveness is still key to helping you heal and to help keep healthy friendships alive. When a dear friend hurts you and they are come to you asking for forgiveness, give it. Pray about it and if the friendship can be salvaged, grasp onto it. It will make it stronger. This is probably the hardest one for me to write because I have found that sometimes even forgiveness won’t heal the broken heart from the ending of a friendship. But that’s ok, God brings people in and then when they exit, he brings the bounty of more. If you are going through a friend break up, have hope! There are golden friendships just waiting for you!
4. Build, Encourage, & Love on them: This is huge for me because I have felt this so much in the last year while I struggled to be a new mom and build my business, Blush Boutique. I couldn’t have done any of this, or at least successfully without the women who encouraged, prayed, sent texts, letters, cards, called, met with me, brought me coffee, meals, and more… My cup ran over and I’m trying my best to make up for it! So build your friends up, send them texts, verses, prayers, gifts, etc. If they have a home business, support them (within means 😉 ), if they had a baby, bring them a meal (or forget like I did and make up for it later), if they had a bad day, bring them coffee. Speak their love language, ask them what it is, put reminders in your phone and act on them. Even a hand written note goes a long way.
5. Gossip is Killer: I want to highlight this and I can’t emphasize this enough. Gossip destroys, it is weed that plants itself and strangles the life even out of the strongest friendships. Girls, even when you have been hurt, don’t go speak maliciously about that friend to another. Don’t turn other girls against each other but instead seek out how to make the situation better. This is something I have to remind myself of time and time again because the enemy is so sneaky here. I am always trying to build my friends up to each other. And trust me, if we become friends, I’m going to try and introduce you to all my other amazing friends. Just ask my amazing hair guru, Allison.
6. Pray for them: The enemy seeks to kill and destroy. That is his goal 100% and when it comes to killing relationships, I feel like he throws a party for himself. Be a party pooper and combat this by praying! Pray for your friends, pray for how to be a friend, ask the Lord to bring amazing women into your life and when he does, pray for those relationships. If you are struggling to find friends, I know your heart. I have been there and I promise God hears our hearts and blesses that.
7. Know you will mess up: But see number 2 and 6. We aren’t perfect, but the love of our Father is and he can help us become the friend we need to be.
So to my sweet friends, if you are reading this, first thank you. I know you have better things to do but… I hope you hear the love in this and how much you mean to me. If you aren’t in one of these pictures it doesn’t mean we aren’t friends, it means we need to take a picture together! Also, if I am not being a good friend… see Number 2 and give me a call. I want to talk it out!