I love these posts. I look forward to them every month, not just because they are about love and life and marriage but because I get to have a sneak peek into the lives of some of my dearest friends or learn something about new friends. Marriage is not easy. It’s work and it takes two people who have each other’s backs to make a marriage not just a commitment but something absolutely amazing.
Even after 5 years of marriage to my one and only, you can read more on that here, I am still learning something new each day.
Forever and Ever: Richard and Tessa.
These two are special. They have actually been Andy’s friends much longer than I have known them. Richard grew up with my husband and Tessa and Andy spent there golden school days together. I think Andy might even take some of the credit for this love connection! But ever since being in Andy’s life, I have grown to love these two as well. We were even blessed with their visit to DC earlier this year.
So with out further introduction, get to know these high school sweethearts and what marriage is like for them!
When did you get married?
September 26, 2010. We just had our three year anniversary and that is hard to believe!
Favorite Memory from your wedding day?
It’s hard to pick just one! First is probably our first look. We decided to do our pictures before the ceremony and have a first look before actually walking down the aisle. I know that is a little non traditional, some would say bad luck, but it was so necessary for us to see each other before heading down the aisle — I think I would have passed out if we didn’t see each other beforehand and nobody wants a passed out bride, that’s no fun. I was nervous and excited and jittery all day and as soon as I saw Richard that melted away and I just felt peaceful and ready to become his wife. He also just looked so darn good and the look on his face when he saw me will stay in my mind forever.
Second, had to be during the ceremony and our vows. Richard happened to be between jobs (read: unemployed) when we got hitched. We said traditional wedding vows and when Richard got to the for richer or poorer part he could barely keep it together, which means I could barely keep it together. It was intense and beautiful and amazing to say those words and feel that emotion with the support of all of our family and friends around us. Truly special. After the emotional vows, we did a unity ceremony where we were supposed to create a candle by pouring two different colors of wax together into one candle. Well, it was unseasonably warm for a fall afternoon and the separate colors of wax melted in their individual containers and we couldn’t really pour them into the one candle, it was hilarious and the perfect amount of comic relief!
How did you meet?
Richard and I have different memories of this, but here’s how it really went down… Richard and I met one night after a high school soccer game (yep, high school. Cue the oooohs and awwwws and that’s so cutes)
We had mutual friends but we were in different grades so we didn’t see each other often. The first time I remember taking notice of Richard was after a boys soccer game. We were both high school soccer players and it was pretty traditional for the girls team to go out and watch the boys games and flirt with all the cute soccer boys afterward. This game just happened to be right before homecoming, maybe even the week of, so it was a pretty big social event. My house was usually the hang out house and a group of friends came over after the game. I don’t know how it happened, but Richard ended up over at my house that night too, but a little after the first crowd showed up. My friends knew to just walk in the house without ringing the door bell and head down the the basement. Richard didn’t know the protocol and he rang the doorbell, I answered and the rest is history. We went to homecoming together that year and prom as well. We ‘officially’ (is anything official in high school??) started dating after prom in May 2003 and have been together ever since through high school, college, and now marriage. There is no one else that knows me or who I truly am better than he does. I am so lucky.
What you love about your partner?
I’m not joking when I say this, Richard is the kindest person I have EVER met. He will bend over backwards to help anyone family, friend, acquaintance, neighbor, stranger you name it. He never complains and works so hard to support us and the life we are creating together I can’t ask for anything more than that. Um and can we talk about his blue eyes for a minute — holy cow I’ll never get tired of looking into those peepers.
Favorite thing you love to do together.
We are fortunate and have gotten to travel a bit of the world together and I love it. There’s no better travel companion than Richard for me. From Hawaii, to Colorado, to England and Switzerland to infinity and beyond I can’t wait to see more of this amazing planet with him. At the same time we are also kind of home bodies and cooking a great meal together and snuggling in for a movie night or breaking bad marathon is also high on my list. We are also sports fans so watching games, or heading to the mountains for a ski weekend is not something I would turn down either.
How are you a like and how are you different?
Hard question! I would say Richard are a like in that we both work really hard, we like to have a plan and stick to it (me more than Richard, he is better at going with the flow, but likes a good plan). We both value time with our family and friends and are so thankful for the community of people we have around us. We talk about how lucky we are in that way all of the time.
Differences (there are many): Richard is so neat and tidy and I tend to be a tornado of stuff. I cook, he cleans (I HATE doing dishes. No problem putting the clean ones away, but nothing takes me to whiny town faster than a huge pile of dishes….or laundry). Richard is easy going, laid back and easy to talk to and I tend to be more rigid. I like a plan, and following the rules. I like to get on the airplane when I am called, see the movie I paid to see, and sit in the seats I bought tickets for. Richard sees these things with a little more flexibility than I like some times. I am a worrier, Richard is not. I worry constantly about money, and the future and my job and, and and…Richard doesn’t. It’s a great balance.
What is the best thing and worst thing about marriage?
Best thing: Knowing that there is no one else that knows me better than Richard. It is a crazy amazing feeling. Having an in home handy man isn’t bad either 😉
Worst thing: sharing the bathroom! Kidding, but only sort of On a serious note one of the worst things is also one of the best. I am so dependent on Richard and the life we have started to make together that I can’t imagine not being married to him or having him as a part of my life. That is a wonderful and scary, scary thing all at the same time. I already told you I am a worrier and sometimes the thoughts of what if something happened to one of us can be overwhelming and scary.
Advice to anyone about getting married.
We get asked this question all the time – what’s the secret and how have you been together for so long. We always give the same answer and we always get mixed reactions, so here goes…
You’ll often hear people say that marriage is work and that you have to work hard to be married. We don’t agree. Being together is the easiest most natural state for us. Don’t think that we don’t disagree, or get mad at each other, or all of the things that come up when you have been together for as long as we have, we definitely do, but us being together is easy, it just is. So what’s our advice? Work together and the rest is easy
5 Random things about you and your partner.
- I hate runny eggs – seriously don’t even get close to me with that filth, but Richard loves them so send it his way
- Richard modeled for a bronze statue when he was a kid and a life size version of the bronze is now proudly installed at a soccer park in Oklahoma. How cool is that?!
- We want to live in Hawaii someday, we don’t know when that day will come, but we know we want it to happen and we are going to push each other to make it come true.
- I am afraid of fish, and bees, and spiders — kind of makes the wanting to live in Hawaii thing a little challenging for me, right?
- We sing and dance in the car, and neither of us are good singers, it’s hilarious but you probably do not want to ever witness it